An unhealthy or abusive relationship can leave a lasting imprint on your emotional well-being. You may find it hard to trust your current partner. Or, you might dismiss dating or commitment altogether- it just isn't worth the risk. Maybe you're a parent, and you're now seeing how past family dynamics are playing out in your own parenting dynamics.

Relationship trauma can cause complex PTSD symptoms, and these symptoms can range from mildly distressing to incredibly debilitating.

Experiencing relationship trauma doesn't make you broken. But it may mean that you're struggling in ways that cause you immense pain. Moving forward means creating a sense of internal safety and learning how to safely connect with others. The healing process can be slow, but it's possible to overcome your trauma symptoms.

Signs You May Have Relationship Trauma

Relationship trauma can occur in any relationship, but the symptoms are often most pronounced when the trauma occurred from a parent or other close family member or a romantic partner.

Here are some of the signs you may be struggling:

Patterns of clingy behavior/poor trust: Relationship trauma can profoundly impact how safe you feel with others. In adult relationships, you may find yourself needing constant reassurance. And even if someone has committed to you, you may still feel scared they could leave or hurt you.

Chronic anger/irritability: Anger is often the manifestation of powerlessness and helplessness. When you feel angry, it can speak to the injustice you experienced. Unresolved anger can lead you to lash out at others, act in controlling ways, or engage in self-sabotaging behaviors yourself.

Dissociation: Dissociation is a trauma response where you feel detached from yourself or your external surroundings. People who dissociate sometimes have memory problems and can become quickly overwhelmed when they experience a trauma trigger.

Patterns of avoidant behavior/withdrawal: Some people cope with relationship trauma by subconsciously keeping other people at a safe distance. You may even be comfortable with someone else's vulnerability, but you generally present as guarded and aloof. When you feel overwhelmed, you tend to disconnect as much as you can.

Excessive 'escape' behaviors: Substance use, disordered eating, excessive shopping, or compulsive video gaming all represent ways people try to escape their emotions. In moderation, these habits may not be inherently problematic. But when they're used excessively, the pattern often worsens trauma symptoms and causes additional problems.

Intimacy problems: Even if you're in a healthy relationship right now, you might find it difficult to truly connect with your partner. Intimacy problems can be emotional or physical or both, and they can erode communication and trust.

Abusive patterns yourself: Maybe you recognize that you sometimes hurt the people you love. Even if it isn't intentional, this can be how some people reenact trauma events or relationship PTSD. If emotional abuse was modeled to you, you might lack the tools for appropriate communication and healthy boundaries.

How Therapy Can Help You Recover and Heal

Healing from a traumatic relationship can be difficult. The work of therapy entails processing your emotions about what happened and building greater self-esteem. If you're in an intimate relationship with someone else, recovery also means learning how to trust them while accepting their human limitations.

Having a safe place for emotional support: It can be uncomfortable to seek trauma therapy. You may find yourself feeling angry or distrusting of the process. You might also worry about being judged. These are all entirely normal reactions to trauma, and my goal is to provide you with a new relationship where we can safely unpack what happened at a pace that feels appropriate to you.

Fostering better self-esteem: The trauma healing process often includes building a new concept of self. This is especially true if you've had patterns of unstable or toxic relationships in the past. Building your self-esteem entails more self-care, identifying an appropriate support system, and learning how to set boundaries for yourself.

Building healthy relationships: We ultimately heal from abusive relationships and emotional trauma by creating healthier relationships with other people. This concept may feel scary, particularly if you identify with trauma bonding or generally feel unsafe around others. But, over time, you can learn how to let others in and build meaningful relationships with them.

Therapy for Relationship Trauma in California

Traumatic events alter our perceptions and can disrupt what it means to feel safe with others. Regardless of what happened to you, you deserve to look after your mental health.

As a trauma-informed therapist, I implement humanistic and attachment-focused modalities in my treatment. My primary goal is to provide a safe environment where you can truly be yourself and receive the support and skills needed to heal.

Contact me today to schedule a complimentary consultation.