While we've made tremendous strides in talking about the difficulties women face with parenting, there aren't many conversations about how this transition affects fathers. Many men find themselves struggling with their new identity and changing families. They want to be a good dad, and they also want to learn how to balance parenting with all their other priorities.

Signs You May Benefit From Therapy

No matter how prepared you might feel to look after a baby, there's no doubt that parenting is simultaneously demanding and rewarding. The relentless energy spent taking care of kids can be exhausting. You might grieve parts of your old life or worry that you're not a good enough dad. Here are some common issues I help dads with:

Relationship Issues Due to Parenting

It's very common for couples to experience some discourse after a child is born. You're both adjusting to new roles, and you're both pressed for time and sleep. Most couples collaborate to find a groove that works, but finding balance may still pose as a significant challenge. 

But relationship issues, if unresolved, can worsen over time. For example, maybe it feels like you and your partner aren't on the same page anymore. Or you keep disagreeing about how to raise your children. Maybe your partner feels distant or withdrawn, and you aren't sure how to reconnect with one another.

In therapy, we'll talk about your relationship, your goals, and your current frustrations. Together, we'll create a plan intended to improve your relationship satisfaction.

Male Postpartum Depression

Research shows that up to 10% of new dads experience postpartum depression, and first-time parents are most vulnerable. Symptoms can happen soon after your baby is born, but they can also take up to a year to emerge.

You may be struggling with postpartum depression if you:

• have a persistently sad or hopeless mood most of the day.

• feel detached from your baby.

• feel like life is meaningless.

• feel increasingly jealous of the bond between your baby and their mother

• feel low energy throughout the day.

• experience thoughts of death or suicide.

Therapy for postpartum depression includes providing a safe outlet to express your emotions. I will also provide you with support and practical skills intended to help you feel better.

Male Postpartum Anxiety

Men can also experience postpartum anxiety, which often manifests as excessive worry about the baby's well-being. But this anxiety can also seep into other areas, such as your career, health, or finances.

Other common postpartum anxiety symptoms include:

• feeling like you can't stay calm or relax.

• replaying worst-case scenarios or having repetitive intrusive thoughts.

• concentration problems (often due to anxiety).

• avoiding feared situations and/or being unable to enjoy certain settings because you're worried about what might go wrong.

Therapy for postpartum anxiety focuses on understanding your anxiety triggers and implementing new ways to cope with stress. You can't "cure" anxiety, but you can learn how to focus on what's in your control as a way to feel more empowered.

Past Trauma

You may think the past is behind you, but young children can trigger intense emotions of helplessness, fear, inadequacy, and even anger. Men are often surprised to find how their own trauma histories can influence their parenting.

Trauma can also impact how you renegotiate family roles within your current dynamic. If, for example, you have a strained relationship with your parents, you might not what kind of relationship you want them to have with your child.

Even with the best intentions, breaking intergenerational patterns is hard, therapy can help you develop better insight into your past and support you in becoming the father you want to be.

Therapy for Men in Orange County, CA: What to Expect

When it comes to parenting, a father's mental health often feels invisible. But men need support and guidance during this life-changing time. There's a tremendous benefit to working with someone who professionally and personally understands the gravity of what it means to be a parent in the modern world.

As a parent of two children myself, I have personal experience adapting to fatherhood and balancing parenting with other important obligations, such as work, marriage, and personal time. I recognize the dual reality of loving your kids while also, at times, feeling overwhelmed by the rigor of parenting.

In addition to providing individual therapy for men, I also work with couples who want to improve relationship satisfaction after their baby is born. Contact me today to schedule a free consultation.